Consider The Source

I've learned over the years to slow my response...to consider the source of what or who is making me angry. Not to imply that I always succeed at biting my tongue or not responding to something that angers me but, I am much better at it than I have been in times past... One of the best pieces of advise that my mother has given me is to "Consider the source". It is a simple phrase but, it carries a huge lesson. When I was growing up and someone had hurt my feelings or said something cruel or hateful to me, my mother would always say, "Consider the source." It took me a while to completely understand what she meant but, those words were the wisest thing she could have said to me. There are things that are a sure thing in this life and one of those things is that there will always be someone or something that "rubs you the wrong way" or offends you in some way. I've had "friends" who inadvertently have said things that make my blood boil...but, I've learned to consider the source. Who are they? Do they really mean anything to me? Does their opinion really matter to me? Are they intelligent enough to even have an opinion? Are they simply too ignorant to waste my breath on? Better yet, what have they ever done to contribute to my happiness or well being? If you were to ask these questions or similar questions every time you felt like opening your mouth to blast someone and set them straight, you might just decide to close you mouth and take a deep breath. Just consider the source and smile! Now on the other hand, in most instances, if I do open my mouth to tell you how I'm feeling or if I lose my temper with you, this is a very good indication that you do mean something to me and I do value your place in my life and even after considering the source, I must speak my mind! Its when I'm quite and don't bother that I'm considering the source and you're simply not worth the breath it would take to tell you....but, if you could only read my mind...

Nannie Lou, My Mother

Nannie Lou, aka; Nancy, my mother. It is impossible to put into words who my mother is. My mother is simple and complex at the same time. There is no gray areas with my mother; no middle ground. What you see is what you get... My mother was born in 1943, the oldest of five sisters and one brother. She is a true Southern Lady who will offer you something to drink and eat when you enter her home and will not take no for an answer! She says "I reckon and over yonder" and "Yes Sir and No Sir" She is very analytical, indecisive, stubborn and bullheaded but, she has a kind spirit. Years ago, I heard someone speaking of my grandmother after her death. They said that they had never heard my grandmother speak ill of anyone and that she always treated everyone with kindness and after giving it some thought, I came to the conclusion that this was true. My grandmother was a true blue, Southern Lady as well so, my mother came by it honest! There have been (and still are) times that my mother's kindness irritates, frustrates and even makes me angry! I have actually been resentful of my mother for being so forgiving and kind. I know you are probably wondering how on earth I could feel this way... It may have something to do with the fact that I have, time after time watched her be kind to people who absolutely & unequivocally do not deserve her kindness. People that I would shun and disown, if not throat punch or worse! For instance, years ago, my mother and I was having a conversation about my father. Growing up, I witnessed her being abused, terrorized and tormented by him and in retrospect, I suffered the same as she did and yet, she was kind to him. She was there at his bedside as he was getting ready to die even though she had been divorced from him for years and he had been anything but, good to her. During this conversation I asked her with total sincerity, "Why didn't you just kill him?" She simply replied "Oh I couldn't do that. I don't have it in me." She was telling the truth. She doesn't have it in her. She is forgiving and kind to a fault. At times when we have talked about various scenarios involving people who do things that are wrong, she says, "I love the person but, I don't love what they are doing." Even now, I have to admit that I have trouble understanding her way of being. Even though I know it is the love of God inside of her "being" that shows through in the form of simple forgiveness and kindness. I've never heard anyone speak negatively about my mother. (They probably know better) Everyone and I do mean everyone loves my mother! Yes, she frustrates me at times. Yes, she drives me insane at times. No, I don't always think like her. No, I don't always "get" her but, I can guarantee you this, I love my mother with every ounce of my being and without her, I would not be who I am. I sometimes tease her and say that I'm nothing like her...we don't look alike, we don't think alike and we don't act alike. She takes this as an insult and frowns when I tell her this but, truth be told, I could never live up to her looks, her thoughts or her actions. She is one of a kind. My mother is tough, a survivor, and in her own way a fighter. She will kill you with kindness!